More and more, online couple therapy can and has been used to resolve a conflict between partners that has been jamming their lives together, especially in this quarantine period, where conflicts seem to have increased, often because their partner’s attitudes (a), which previously made no difference, now bother you.
‘’ In a relationship, several elements come into play ’’, says Ailton Amélio da Silva, professor of psychology at the University of São Paulo (USP) and author of the book Relação Amoroso. Thus, just as there are a variety of issues involved, there are also possibilities for disagreements. The point is not to avoid them, but to be able to deal with them when they appear. “This can mean both solving them, as well as deciding that it is worth living with them,” says psychoanalyst Luiz Hanns, author of the work A Equação do Casamento
It is normal for many people to be more resistant to joint therapy because, in general, it arises due to conflicts.
In couple therapy, their vision can be challenged by the other when the sessions are held together, which can lead to confrontation.
At that moment, when this occurs, it is up to the therapy professional to help organize the conversation, so that everything is resolved, even if momentarily.
Privacy is always respected. Even what is said in the individual service, if there are sessions with only one partner, it is not shared in the conversation between two without the other’s authorization.
This is a very important issue, as many couples are afraid to open up and share thoughts with psychotherapists, because they fear that the professional will tell their partner.
Whether in face-to-face or online therapy, it is necessary to participate actively, whether in individual or in pairs.
It is necessary to empathize with the professional and get involved with the process, so that the assistance is beneficial.
In some cases, when only one partner wants to contribute and the other always remains silent and does not commit, it is possible that some individual sessions will be proposed to understand what is happening.
In this way, the psychotherapist can prepare the patient alone so that he can express himself better together.
In individual therapy, all content that the patient presents is valid, including daydreams that go through the head, such as repressed fantasies and dreams.
But, when the session is together, some issues can be kept outside – and they should, in some cases.
Because of this, it is important that the patient gives priority to what has been causing anguish and that, shared with the other, can lead to a new stage of the relationship, and not to things that can make the situation worse if they are put in question in front of the patient. another, at an inopportune moment.
The therapist’s role is that of a mediator, not a fan of one of the partners, much less a judge of the situation or owner of the truth.
Therefore, it is up to the good professional to try to understand those individuals and the couple as a whole.
That way, after learning a little more about online couple therapy, it may be a good opportunity to reflect and give a chance to this mode of therapy that can change your life together for the better.
In addition, it is extremely important to take into account the crisis that the world is going through because of the new coronavirus pandemic, which is causing many conflicts in relationships, motivated by mandatory confinement and the lack of habit of living 24 hours with each other. .
Therefore, we know that it is natural for conflicts and stress to occur in a marital relationship. Couples argue, that is clear.
But, when these conflicts occupy space to the point of disrupting or making dialogue impossible, the search for help does not represent a lack of competence in resolving these differences. Quite the contrary: it represents the desire and courage to propose changes and to rescue dialogue.
Online couple therapy helps the couple to see more clearly what their situation is and act according to what will be best for both of them in this delicate moment.
Conclusion: above all, the ultimate goal is to be happy, whatever path is taken. And this is possible with openness, frankness and commitment in a relationship that, even if it is shaken, deserves to be treated with respect and maturity.
@fabiocalo – Psychologist by UniCEUB and master in Behavior Analysis by UnB. He has been working as a clinician since 1998, serving adults and couples. For two decades, he has been attending, mainly in the area of conjugality, sexuality and anxiety disorders. He has been interested and researched on current issues such as “internet addiction”, “pornography addiction”, “online betrayal”, among others. He is a speaker and instructor in personal development courses and courses aimed at health professionals.
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